Our New Year
by Stardust585
Summary: Sometimes when you’ve been hurt as deeply as Mac Taylor, it’s not easy to start over. But New Year means new beginnings and Stella is determined to make that sentiment true. SMACKED one-shot


**Our New Year**

**Summary**: Sometimes when you've been hurt as deeply as Mac Taylor, it's not easy to start over. But New Year means new beginnings and Stella is determined to make that sentiment true.

**Disclaimer**: I don't own anything. This is only a fan fiction story. CSI:NY and all the characters are the property of Anthony Zuiker and CBS. I'm just a fangirl who can't resist playing with their wonderful creations:-)

**A/N1**: I've decided to start this new year by writing my first fan-fiction ever:-) It's a New Year Smacked one-shot and it begins right after the officer's children benefit in episode 6.11 "Second Chances" so there might be some spoilers!

**A/N2**: I've been toying with the idea of a Smacked story for some time now but it wasn't until I began reading Andorian Ice Princess-AIP's wonderful stories that I finally found my motivation, sat down and actually wrote it. Hence, I wanted to dedicate this story to her – thanks girl, you really rock!

**A/N3**: The song excerpts are from _Our New Year_ by Tori Amos.

**A happy New Year to all of you!**

* * *

"That felt really good," Mac said repeating Stella's words from the day before as he looked at her.

The benefit had ended some time ago but they both chose to stay a while longer and help with the cleaning up. Mac was only too happy to linger and drink in the joyful atmosphere for a while longer. Also, Stella's enthusiasm and eagerness were infectious. It was her who had coaxed him into helping with the Christmas tree and the gift-giving in the first place and he couldn't be more grateful to her. It allowed him to take his mind off the usually somber thoughts that haunted him in the Christmas season.

The benefit preparations as well as the James Manning case abounded with surprises and in hindsight, turned out to mean for him more than he expected. They allowed him to see yet another side of his best friend and partner that he didn't get to glimpse very often, what with the tough exterior she normally displayed to the world. The caring, devoted and passionate side of Stella he was privileged to witness in the last couple of days had left him truly taken with her. It was as if shutters had been lifted from his eyes and he saw the amazing woman he had been working with for more than ten years now in a totally new light. When they both stood close together watching Danny, Lindsay, Sheldon and Don giving out presents and he looked at Stella's face glowing with happiness, she took his breath away. She was beautiful and the realization hit him like a hammer. So he couldn't resist putting his arms around her and kissing her on the cheek. He didn't dare do anything more even though he found he very much wanted to, Stella's body leaning in to him and her face giving him her fifty-megawatt smile. He didn't want this evening to end.

"Can I say 'I told you so'?" Stella's voice brought him back from his reverie.

"This time I'll accept it with pleasure," he chuckled and took the last of the garbage bags from her. He deposited them in the designated place and turned to face her.

"I guess we're done," Stella said in the direction of Susan, this year's event organizer.

"Thank you so much again, guys," the woman smiled and hugged both of them. "This was the best party ever. The kids were so happy and all thanks to you."

"It was our pleasure," Mac smiled.

"See you next year?" Susan asked hopefully.

"Count us in," Stella said as they both donned their jackets and prepared to leave.

The cold air hit them as soon as they went out.

"So, wanna sit down somewhere less crowded for a coffee?" Mac offered.

Stella looked at him with raised eyebrows. "Aren't we both working the morning shift tomorrow?"

"I owe you for making me do this," he said earnestly but then his expression lighted up. "Besides, you can rest easy. I think this one time your boss won't mind if you come in a bit later."

"Oh, I don't know. He's a pretty fearsome boss," she deadpanned.

"I'll handle him myself, I promise," he said and Stella laughed.

She hooked her arm in his and gave him a happy smile. "In that case, lead the way."

**XxXxXxX**

"So, what did you think of the benefit?" Stella asked as Mac settled opposite her with their coffees in a small coffee shop he had chosen for them.

"It was great. Really heart-warming to see all those happy faces around for a change," he said looking ruminatively into his cup. "We usually only get to see the worst in people. People like Grace Chandler and Debbie Fallon," he looked up at her with a frown. "These women essentially rescued these men, helped them get back on their feet and built a life with them only to turn around and kill them in cold blood…If there ever was a definition of evil, that's it," he said with anguish.

Stella looked at him earnestly. She placed a hand over his and gave it a gentle squeeze.

"Hey," she said with a decided set of her mouth. "Don't you even dare to sulk! We got them, remember? And we saved a man's life. _And_ we helped a whole bunch of kids who've lost a parent. Today was a good day, Mac."

He looked at her with amazement. It still caught him off guard sometimes how well she knew him. She was always able to pick up on his moods and drive his mind off the darker and more depressing thoughts. And even though he knew that the sight of the two vicious women would keep him up all night, he also knew that they wouldn't be the only thing occupying his brain. He mustered a small smile and looked back down only to see his fingers still intertwined with Stella's. It felt good having her strong presence at his side, especially after a day like today.

"I guess you're right," he conceded with a sigh.

"Of course I'm right," she gave him a smug glance. "As always."

"Always?" he arched his eyebrows.

"Yup."

"It's a no-win for me with you, is it?" he smiled.

"You can always try," she teased and he just shook his head. "But this time I thought I would have a much harder time talking the guys into dressing up than convincing you. I was pleasantly surprised. And seeing Lindsay, Danny, Flack and Sheldon in elf costumes was priceless."

"It was," he chuckled. "But by the looks they were giving me, I was afraid Flack and Danny were going to jump me from behind and squeeze me into an elf costume, too," he said.

"Nah, as senior staff we have special clauses in our contracts against that."

"Against elf costumes?"

"Elves, Santa, Grinch – you should read the small print, Mac," she teased. "Not that it wouldn't be fun to see you in a Santa costume," she added.

"And where would that leave you?"

"The dignified yet stylish Crime Lab representative cheering her Santa and elves from the sidelines?"

"Nice try, but if I were Santa, then you'd wearing an elf costume," seeing her skeptical expression, he added. "Even if I'd have to force you into one."

"That sounds tempting," she said with a mischievous smile and Mac felt a blush creep over his face.

"I…uh…didn't mean…"

"Relax, Mac," she laughed. "I'm just winding you up."

"And you're doing a great job," he said with a half-smile. "You know me too well," he sighed.

"Don't you forget it," she smiled. "So, any plans for the New Year's Eve?" she asked after they were both silent for a while.

"The usual, I guess," he sighed.

"Times Square on TV and a beer?" she said with a smirk.

"Something along those lines," he gave her a half-smile. "We had always planned to actually go to the Square with Claire but we somehow never got to it before…," he looked up at her. "I guess it's just one of those 'to do' things that I've put on ice since she passed away."

_Like your life_, Stella wanted to say. Her heart broke every time she saw how deep the scars of his wife's death were still etched in his heart. She wished she could alleviate his pain and that was one of the main reasons she had coaxed him into helping with the party. She knew Christmas was one of the worst times of the year for him so she wanted to take his mind off miserable thoughts and make him have some fun for a change. As she watched how much he got involved and how often a happy smile appeared on his face these last few days, she knew she had done the right thing.

For even though Mac never let it show, she knew him too long and cared too much for him so as not to notice the small indicators of how many feelings and emotions he was still keeping at bay and closed deep within his soul. Her heart ran out to him and she wanted nothing more than to make him see he was not alone and never would be until she was alive.

She knew she was in love with him. She had known it for a long time but had never acted on it before as he never indicated he wanted something more than friendship. But ever since he came to Greece after her, she felt a shift in him. There was something different in the looks he gave her and the way he behaved. When they stood together at the benefit and he brought her close, she felt like he wanted to kiss her but chickened out in the last moment, giving her a mere peck on the cheek. She wanted nothing more than to turn his face back to her and kiss his breath out of him. As she looked at him now, she knew it would be her who would have to make the first step. But now she was at least getting certain that if she did try, he would not turn her down.

"What about you? Any plans?" he asked.

"As a matter of fact, yes," she smiled to herself.

"Anyone I know?" he asked trying to hide his disappointment. He scolded himself inwardly for even thinking that a woman such as Stella would be spending New Year's Eve alone instead of a big party with a date.

"Maybe," she said vaguely and he got the hint that she didn't want to tell him more. But the way her face lighted up when she answered assured him that it must be someone special for her. Did it make him a bad friend that he wasn't happy for her? But how could he be when he found that _he_ wanted to be that guy? When he was finally ready, it was already too late.

_Speaking of late_, he looked at his watch. Stella nodded her head and got up readying herself to leave. As they headed for the exit, Mac was still pondering the happy look on her face as she spoke about her mysterious date. What was eating away at him was that he was actually jealous. It had been growing inside him ever since he was finally able to speak his mind to her and tell he cared about her. That was the break-through, the point when the realization that he cared for her more than just as a friend hit him. As he looked at her now, his heart constricted painfully at the thought that had let his chance slip away from him once again.

He allowed Stella to get into the first cab they hailed. Before she got inside, she turned towards him and gave him a hug.

"Thanks for being here tonight," she smiled.

"Thanks for making me be here," he smiled back but his smile was soon replaced by an amazed expression as she leaned in and placed a delicate kiss on his lips.

"Night," she said pulling herself away from him and getting into the cab.

"Night," he replied in shock. He stayed rooted to the spot and watched as Stella's cab drove away. Then he pulled the collar of his coat up to make himself warmer and started walking. He needed some fresh air to clear his head. There were too many thoughts spinning around his tired brain, most of them revolving around the beautiful woman he had once again had to let out of his arms.

**XxXxXxX**

**New Year's Eve, 5 p.m.**

"να πάρη η ευχή!"

Mac had to smile as he heard a string of Greek curses coming from Stella's office. He suspected the reason was the memo that had been issued by chief Sinclair's office an hour ago. She must have only just read hers. He had already gotten several unhappy comments from the staff. He wasn't too happy about the new assignments, either, but when national security was at stake, there was no discussion.

Mac stood up and made his way towards Stella's office. His partner was sitting at her desk glaring at her computer screen.

"Have you seen the changed assignments for tonight?" she asked as he entered.

"Yeah," he sighed as he settled into the chair opposite her. "But with threat levels raised to orange this morning and today being New Year's Eve, I can't say I didn't see it coming."

"I was really looking forward to this evening, Mac, and now it's cancelled."

"I know that. So I'm taking your today's shift," he informed her.

"You are what?" Stella looked at him in shock. "Mac, you can't…"

"You've had this night planned for a long time," he interrupted holding up his hand. "And me…you know I don't have anything in store."

"Mac, there's no way you're doing this."

He was about to respond when his phone rang.

"Taylor," he spoke into the speaker.

Stella watched him in silent shock. She was once again reminded how lucky she was to have such a great guy as Mac in her life. _Too great for his own good, even_, she thought ironically. That he would sacrifice his free night, the New Year's Eve no less, so that she could go on a date was really heart-warming. And it was disturbing. She hoped that it didn't mean he didn't care that she went out with some casual guy. But knowing Mac, he wasn't thinking about himself in all this but about her. Sweet as this may be, it also thwarted her plans. She would have to get creative.

Then he was off the phone, interrupting her train of thoughts. "We've got a new case," he said. "I'll get Danny and you'd better not be here when I get back. It's already past five."

"Mac…"

"This is not up for discussion, Stella. Go on your New Year's Eve date," he smiled at her. "I'll call you tomorrow."

He was at the door when he turned one last time. "Have fun, ok?"

She gave him a tight-lipped smile but said nothing and watched him leave, his shoulders hunched and his head bent. _Oh, I'll have fun alright_, she thought catching his glance one last time as he disappeared in the elevator. _And I'll make sure you're there with me_.

**New Year's Eve, 7 p.m.**

"Thanks, Flack. Bye," Stella hung up her phone.

Her call done, she turned to her closet and peered inside with a frown. She looked but didn't really see, though. Her thoughts were occupied with something else. She had left the office an hour ago and Mac still wasn't back from the new crime scene. It was no wonder considering his thoroughness and the congested streets due to closed traffic on Times Square but it still made her worry.

**New Year's Eve, 11 p.m.**

Mac looked at his watch. His shift was now officially over. He sighed and stood up readying himself to go home. Then his phone buzzed to life. He frowned as he saw Flack's name on the screen.

"What's up, Don?"

"I know you're not on call anymore but are you still in the lab?" Flack asked.

"Yes."

"Then I think you should get to the Times Square. 43rd and 7th Avenue. We have a situation."

"Times Square now, Don?" he asked incredulously. "What kind of situation?"

"Just get here, Mac. The officers have been forewarned and you'll get there in time if you leave now."

"In time for what?" he asked bewildered but Flack had already hung up. Mac allowed himself a small curse as he went out of the office.

**New Year's Eve, ****11:45 p.m.**

_Lately I'm sure it's_

_You there waving _

_In the distance _

_Closer _

_The closer I get _

Stella stood on the police side of one of the safety lanes on Times Square looking expectantly at the crowd. She had hugged herself to keep herself warm but the last hour she had spent getting here and then standing in the cold night air had taken its toll and she was freezing.

There wasn't a more lively or joyful place in New York at that moment. People were cheering, dancing, hugging. Reporters were interviewing the audience in several places and uniforms were patrolling the perimeter. The air was almost thick with excitement and anticipation as people swayed to the hits of Jennifer Lopez, who was performing at the countdown stage.

Stella's gaze was turned in the opposite direction, though. She took almost no heed of the festivities around waiting for the man she was in love with. She didn't believe in destiny or superstition. She was a scientist. But if Mac didn't show up tonight, it would be a clear sign from destiny or some other divine force that they simply were never meant to be more than friends. She felt she would never again muster the courage to do all this again.

She strained her eyes trying to find his face in the throng of people. Maybe Don didn't get to Mac in time? Or he got caught up in the traffic? Or… _Oh, get a grip, Stella_, she scolded herself inwardly. Just then she held her breath as she thought she spotted Mac in the distance but then the man she was watching turned around. It wasn't him.

_Disappointment  
It is, yes it is  
They just have the same color of your hair  
You're not there  
You're not there_

_Where are you, Mac?_ Stella thought as she looked at the giant clock on One Times Square. It was showing ten to midnight. In ten minutes she would know if destiny existed.

**New Year's Eve, 11:55 p.m.**

Mac left his Avalanche at one of the special police parking spots near Times Square and went the rest of the distance on foot. As he looked at the happy faces of the hundreds of people having fun together while waiting for the new year with excitement, he couldn't feel more alone or detached. He himself wasn't expecting much in the new year. He had allowed himself to be hopeful but that was before Stella had told him she was taken.

As he moved further towards the Times Square, he pondered the several last years. He had surrounded himself with walls and avoided deeper emotional relationships. His first attempt at something more serious with Peyton didn't end well and it drove him back into his emotional armour. He felt he didn't want to venture into anything like that for a time. That didn't include Stella, though. She was the only person who had always been able to steal a peek behind his armour and see his more vulnerable side. He knew that if he could ever let someone in, it would only be her. And when he had finally found he was ready to let her in, she wasn't there to get in. He imagined she was now in the arms of her date in a romantic setting preparing for the final countdown.

As he neared the spot, he thought his overtired brain was starting to play tricks on him as he saw a blond mane of curly hair not far away. The woman was looking the other way and he couldn't see her face. But when he neared her she turned around and he saw the worried face of his partner. The moment her eyes rested on him her face lighted up.

"Stella?" he uttered in surprise as she met him halfway. "What are you doing here? And where's your date?"

"He's standing before me," she said barely able to contain her happiness.

Mac's first impulse was to turn around and look behind him for the mysterious guy but then he looked at the trademark radiant smile she was giving him and the realization dawned on him.

"So then in the coffee shop…you meant _me_?" he still didn't believe that this was real and this beautiful woman he was in love with was here with him, telling him he was _the_ guy.

"Boy, Mac," she smirked. "For such a smart guy, you sure can be really thick sometimes."

"And you did all this?"

"The Times Square?" she teased. "No. But if you mean Flack, then yes."

"But why, Stella?"

"Isn't it obvious, Mac?" she replied him with a question but her eyes and body told him something different. Something he was almost afraid to believe was true.

_Could this be the one _

_This could be the one _

_Could this be the one _

_Our new year_

He pulled her close into his embrace and she felt her freezing body warm up immediately. He was about to lean in further to kiss her inviting lips but she pulled her face away.

"Stella?"

"It's the countdown, Mac," she smiled and they both turned their faces to witness the magnificently colourful New Year's Eve Ball majestically descend.

"Ten…"

"Nine…"

"Eight…"

"Seven…"

"Six…"

"Five…"

"Four…"

"Three…"

"Two…"

"One…"

"Happy New Year, Mac," Stella whispered and cupped his face with her hands bringing his lips to hers as the world around them exploded with laughter and tons of confetti to the sound of Auld Lang Syne.

_Choruses of Auld Lang Syne  
Could this be the year  
Yours and mine_

"Your nose is cold," Mac said when he pulled back.

"That's because I've been standing here freezing it and my other body parts off waiting for you," she countered.

"You'll never have to wait for me again, Stella, I promise," he said and brought his lips down to hers again.

Mac Taylor didn't know what this new year held but whatever it would be, he knew that he would face it with Stella at his side. That was enough for him.

**THE END**

* * *

να πάρη η ευχή – Damn it (Greek)

**A/N**: So, that's it! I hope you liked it:-) Please let me know! This is my first story so please don't be too harsh if I didn't get everything right – I really tried!

**A/N2**: I've tried to keep this as authentic as possible but I've never been to New York so all the factual information is based on Internet resources. The same goes for police procedure and Stella's Greek cursing. If I got something inaccurately or downright wrong, please forgive me and don't flame. This is a work of fiction after all, right?


End file.
